


Group Chat: Operation Get My OTPS Together

by Carey_Miller



Category: iKON (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Fic, Double B, Group Chat Fic, M/M, OOC, Out of Character, Sope, Texting, This fic literally has no plot, chanwoo and jimin are the matchmakers, junhwan, namjin - Freeform, other than it gay, taekook, text fic, yundong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carey_Miller/pseuds/Carey_Miller
Summary: chanwho didnt say nothinghas addedlet koya sleep,soccer mom,hoesucc,yoongay,heyheyitstaetae,kookies, andchimmychimjimtoGroup Chat: Operation Get My OTPs Togethertrashbin:jesus christ in satan’s asshole who the fuck did you just add to the chatchanwho didnt say nothing:those 7 guys from burger king





	1. chanwho didnt say nothing: welcome fuckers

**Author's Note:**

> I read ONE BTS texting fic and here I am
> 
> featuring a bts x ikon texting fic no one wanted
> 
> the only plot of this fic is that Chanwoo tries to get his OTPs together (with the help of Jimin)
> 
> Totally different from what I’m used to, but that’s okay!
> 
> Names:  
> (iKON)  
> Kim Hanbin: **trashbin**  
>  Kim Jiwon: **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny**  
>  Kim Jinhwan: **mom#2**  
>  Goo Junhoe: **noisepollution**  
>  Kim Donghyuk: **angel**  
>  Song Yunhyeong: **your prince**  
>  Jung Chanwoo: **chanwho didnt say nothing**
> 
> (BTS)  
> Kim Namjoon: **let koya sleep**  
>  Kim Seokjin: **soccer mom**  
>  Jung Hoseok: **hoesucc**  
>  Min Yoongi: **yoongay**  
>  Kim Taehyung: **heyheyitstaetae**  
>  Jeon Jungkook: **kookies**  
>  Park Jimin: **chimmychimjim**
> 
> Enjoy ~~!

**Jung Chanwoo** has added **Kim Hanbin** , **Kim Jiwon** , **Kim Jinhwan** ,  **K** **oo Junhoe** , **Kim Dongyuk** , and **Song Yunhyeong** to _Group Chat: Operation Get My OTPs Together_

 

 **Jung Chanwoo** has changed their name to **chanwho didnt say nothing**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** welcome fuckers

 

 **Song Yunhyeong:** why

 

 **Koo Junhoe:** can u not

 

 **Kim Jinhwan:** delete this

 

 **Kim Donghyuk:** hiiiiii!!!! :))))

 

 **Kim Jiwon:** Chanwoo I will take away your computer.

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** u cant tell me what 2 do ur not my mom

 

 **Kim Hanbin:** Of course he isn’t, I am.

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** fuck

 

 **Kim Jinhwan:** chanwoo why did you make this chat? we already have one that YG made for us, this literally was not necessary

 

 **Song Yunhyeong:** what hyung said 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** u absolute fuckin walnuts 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** YG monitors what we say but i wasnt havin it & make this chat

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** i can send memes and shit 2 you fuckers now w/o getting caught

 

 **Kim Jiwon:** for the love of God, please spell properly

 

 **Koo Junhoe:** this bitch is gunna be dyslexic by tomorrow if u keep up with that shitty texting skillz

 

 **Kim Hanbin:** being a hypocrite, I see you Junhoe

 

 **Kim Hanbin:** and don’t say that, it’s rude as fuck to all dyslexic people

 

 **Kim Donghyuk:** how are you guys?? :D

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** im changin all of ur names, be thankful

 

 **Song Yunhyeong:** wait fuck no

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Kim Hanbin** to  **trashbin**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Kim Jiwon** to **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Song Yunhyeong** to **your prince**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Koo Junhoe** to **noisepollution**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Kim Jinhwan** to **mom#2**

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** drumroll please

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has changed **Kim Donghyuk** to **angel**

 

 **angel:** oh thank gosh

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** this is a disgrace

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** he is a pooh 

 

 **noisepollution:** like that makes any difference

 

 **mom#2:** chanwoo, im not going to take you out for sushi tomorrow if this continues

 

 **your prince:** oh snap, your fucked chan

 

 **trashbin:** can someone please take me out

 

 **trashbin:** a shotgun or a date would be okay either way

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** wait no babe </3

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** “”””babe””””” 

 

 **noisepollution:** “””””babe””””””

 

 **your prince:** “””””babe””””

 

 **angel:** “babe” <3

 

 **mom#2:** “””””””””””b a b e””””””””””””

 

 **trashbin:** fuck you guys

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** bobby is the 1 whose doing the fucking ;)

 

 **mom#2:** CHANWOO! THERE ARE TWO CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!

 

 **your prince:** moooommmmmm

 

 **angel:** aww thanks mom#2

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** Jinhwan was talking about Junhoe

 

 **noisepollution:** thank

 

 **angel:** wait, who is mom#1 then if Jinhwan is mom#2???

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** im glad u asked ding dong

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** has added **let koya sleep** , **soccer mom** , **hoesucc** , **yoongay** , **heyheyitstaetae** , **kookies** , and **chimmychimjim** to _Group Chat: Operation Get My OTPs Together_

 

 **trashbin:** jesus christ in satan’s asshole who the fuck did you just add to the chat

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** those 7 guys from burger king 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** well hello y’all

 

 **let koya sleep:** we’re the 7 guys from Burger King  

 

 **hoesucc:** honestly i only remember the fries there

 

 **kookies:** it was good

 

 **noisepollution:** wait wait who is everyone

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** u absolute FUCKIN walnuts

 

 **chanwho didnt day nothing:** u buffoons 

 

 **soccer mom:** we’re BTS!!! hello to everyone in iKON!! :)

 

 **angel:** welcome to this chaotic group chat bts!!!

 

 **your prince:** leave while you can

 

 **chimmychimjim:** thanks for having us!

 

 **yoongay:** bye

 

 **hoesucc:** noooo stayyyyyy :(((((

 

 **yoongay:** fine

 

 **hoesucc:** :))))

 

 **noisepollution:** thats gay

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** ur gey

 

 **trashbin:** for hyung

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** sorry im not interested

 

 **kookies:** wait who are you interested in?????

 

 **chimmychimjim:** you two are so fucking blind

 

 **mom#2:** no swearing this is a christian minecraft server

 

 **soccer mom:** we all need jesus amen

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** I will take you all to church to cleanse our sins

 

 **your prince:** I’ll pass thanks

 

 **hoesucc:** tAKe ME To ChUrCh 

 

 **yoongay:** will do ;)

 

 **noisepollution:** oh god its u geys again

 

 **angel:** the only straight ones here are yunhyeong and I

 

 **soccer mom:** honey we’re all gay in this group chat, right namjoonie?

 

 **let koya sleep:** unfortunately 

 

 **mom#2:** yunhyeong is a big gay, donghyuk why are you trying to deny that

 

 **trashbin:** you two literally kissed an hour ago

 

 **chimmychimjim:** oh shit exposed

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** we’re all just single af and forever alone

 

 **kookies:** hEy :((( <///3

 

 **angel:** :(((((

 

 **yoongay:** this group chat is going nowhere

 

 **yoongay:** for the record I’m only staying because of Hobi

 

 **yoongay:** otherwise y’all can fuck yourselves

 

 **soccer mom:** CHRISTAN MINECRAFT SERVER YOONGI

 

 **yoongay:** I’m not sorry mom

 

 **hoesucc:** you can go if u wanna!!! its ok!!

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** you can leave if you like 2

 

 **yoongay:** tempting

 

 **yoongay** has left the group chat

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** ahhahahhha sike

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** sorry added **yoongay** to _Group Chat:_ _Operation Get My OTPS Together_

 

 **your prince:** when you think you can leave but it’s all a lie

 

 **noisepollution:** hey why the fuck is this chat called operation get my otps together

 

 **kookies:** whats an otp

 

 **chimmychimjim:** hobi and yoongi

 

 **kookies:** I don’t get it

 

 **chimmychimjim:** namjoon and jin

 

 **kookies:** uhh???

 

 **chimmychimjim:** you and tae

 

 **soccer mom:** jimin don't taint the child

 

 **noisepollution:** a child

 

 **your prince:** no

 

 **let koya sleep:** since when is jungkook a child

 

 **soccer mom:** honey don’t you remember adopting him

 

 **soccer mom:** he’s our child

 

 **let koya sleep:** wait fuck when

 

 **trashbin:** good gosh you don’t even remember when you adopted your child? Smh

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** thank God I don’t have children

 

 **trashbin:** you don’t remember adopting donghyuk?? smh

 

 **angel:** wait I was adopted

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** hahahaahhaha at least im not

 

 **mom#2:** hun I have some news for you

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** shit

 

 **noisepollution:** even tho im older than u ur mom and i adopted u

 

 **chimmychimjim:** oh shit plot twist

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** i hate this fucking family 

 

 **let koya sleep:** even though we’re over 100 km apart I can hear chanwho scream

 

 **your prince:** I can hear him cause I'm 5 feet apart 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** cause ya ain’t gay

 

 **your prince:** your right about that

 

 **mom#2:** sweetie

 

 **mom#2:** you’re right, you’re not gay for chanwoo

 

 **mom#2:** you’re gay for donghyuk

 

 **chimmychimjim:** we’ve only been chatting for 10 min but I already have 3 new otps

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** fuck same

 

 **kookies:** what does otp meannnnnn

 

 **hoesucc:** one true pairing, like sprite and I <3333

 

 **yoongay:** thats it bye bitches

 

 **yoongay** has left the group chat

 

 **hoesucc:**  :((((( noooooo pls come back 

 

 **soccer mom:**  you cheated on him with sprite, he ain’t coming back

 

 **hoesucc:** :((( but my other half :”(

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** fuck not my otp

 

 **kookies:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

 **kookies:** so like my homework and the trash bin

 

 **noisepollution:** i didnt know that bobby was the homework

 

 **chimmychimjim:** probably is slammed into the trashbin 

 

 **soccer mom:** C H R I S T I A N  M I N E C R A F T  S E R V E R

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing** added **yoongay** to _Group Chat:_ _Operation Get My OTPs Together_

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:**  bitch thought u could leave us

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** u cant ruin ur own ship

 

 **hoesucc:** yoongiiii!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **yoongay:** fuck me

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** other way around, we all know that hoe is a bottom

 

 **hoesucc:** uhh what

 

 **let koya sleep:** which hoe

 

 **mom#2:** me obviously

 

 **soccer mom:** me obviously

 

 **trashbin:** me obviously

 

 **hoesucc:** not me lol 

 

 **noisepollution:** “you know, he said like a liar”

 

 **yoongay:** jesus christ 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** ANYWAYS MOVING ON

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:**  i made this chat for 2 reasons

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:**  1) for shit and giggles

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:**  2) my otps

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** prepare ur asses for the gayest shit uve ever seen

 

 **trashbin:**  not again 


	2. trashbin: you can’t tell me how to live my life, donghyuk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jimin has a secret wattpad account, namjoon for president, and chanwoo actually goes on a walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while, school has been kicking my ass :((( (But it’s longer!! (J)Hopefully it makes up for the lack of updating?)
> 
> I haven’t written anything for It Has To Be You and my anxiety is eating me away ;-; I’m sorry for not updating my other fic
> 
> ((I have been writing a bts fic.... only spoiler I can give to y’all is that it’s something to do with yoonseok lol))
> 
> Enjoy?
> 
> Names:  
> (iKON)  
> Kim Hanbin: **trashbin**  
>  Kim Jiwon: **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny**  
>  Kim Jinhwan: **mom#2**  
>  Goo Junhoe: **noisepollution**  
>  Kim Donghyuk: **angel**  
>  Song Yunhyeong: **your prince**  
>  Jung Chanwoo: **chanwho didnt say nothing**
> 
> (BTS)  
> Kim Namjoon: **let koya sleep**  
>  Kim Seokjin: **soccer mom**  
>  Jung Hoseok: **hoesucc**  
>  Min Yoongi: **yoongay**  
>  Kim Taehyung: **heyheyitstaetae**  
>  Jeon Jungkook: **kookies**  
>  Park Jimin: **chimmychimjim**

**chanwho didnt say nothing:** i bet 20$ from each of u fucks that my 6 otps will become canon by the end of the year

 

 **yoongay:** that’s low, it’s not worth 20$ 

 

 **your prince:** the end of the year is half a year away no one is going to remember that bet

 

 **mom#2:** my son, bet 100$ or its a waste of your time trying to get yundong canon

 

 **angel:** hey wait a second????? yundong?????

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** im not ur son stfu fight me

 

 **trashbin:** chanwoo you’re grounded for talking to hyung like that

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** yeah listen to your other mom

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** i hate this fucking family

 

 **kookies:** I think this family is just neat!

 

 **chimmychimjim:** he’s holding a potato while typing that

 

 **soccer mom:** jungkook I was going to use that potato for dinner tonight!!

 

 **let koya sleep:** we’re ordering take out though

 

 **yoongay:** then starve I guess 

 

 **hoesucc:** (I’ll get some mcds for you!!! :))) !)

 

 **noisepollution:** we can literally see that text hoesuck

 

 **mom#2:** don’t be rude junhoe 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** HAHAHHA JUN H O E

 

 **noisepollution:** hey fuck u

 

 **chimmychimjim:** uno reverse 

 

 **trashbin:** uno block

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** no fricking anyone hanbin 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** “fricking” pls just swear normally 

 

 **kookies:** fooking

 

 **yoongay:** no

 

 **hoesucc:** fracking

 

 **your prince:** absolutely not

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** f u c k i n g

 

 **noisepollution:** k i n k y

 

 **mom#2:** this isn’t dear evan hansen 

 

 **let koya sleep:** if I die and come back as a ghost, maybe it will be

 

 **soccer mom:** is that a threat joonie 

 

 **trashbin:** I’m up for it, kill me now

 

 **angel:** wait no don’t do that

 

 **trashbin:** you can’t tell me how to live my life, donghyuk

 

 **your prince:** hey rude

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** wait wait this is important 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** who would jared be

 

 **yoongay:** who the fuck is jared 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** whaddup, im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckin read

 

 **noisepollution:** classic 

 

 **chimmychimjim:** depends on who the ships are *wink wonk*

 

 **soccer mom:** yoonseok and taekook, obviously

 

 **let koya sleep:** cant it be like,,,,,, another ship?

 

 **mom#2:** yundong and double b 

 

 **hoesucc:** I think that namjin would be connor’s parents

 

 **chimmychimjim:** fuck I can see that holy s h i t

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** junhwan would be the the parents too 

 

 **chimmychimjim:** you know what that means chan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **noisepollution:** shit that means yoongay and bobby would die

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** how the ever loving fuck did you come up with that— what are we even talking about????

 

 **yoongay:** oh so I’m dying now? Nice

 

 **hoesucc:** nooooo :((((

 

 **chimmychimjim:** brb gunna write some steamy fanfics for a deh au ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** i already have the whole character roles ready in my head ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **trashbin:** suddenly I hate this

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** im not surprised if they have some ao3 account and post fanfics about us

 

 **chimmychimjim:** correction, tae, i have wattpad 

 

 **your prince:** explain please?

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i write the gay and post the gay

 

 **kookies:** I guess when you are the gay, you must spread the gay

 

 **soccer mom:** yes honey that is exactly how you do it

 

 **let koya sleep:** don’t trust him, it’s false information

 

 **noisepollution:** FALSE NEWS EVERYONE, BECOME THE GAY FIRST

 

 **hoesucc:** namjoon for president change my mind

 

 **yoongay:** if namjoon is president then BTS won’t be able to stay together anymore, therefore we’d all have to go our seperate ways and won’t be able to see each other

 

 **angel:** that took a turn!!!

 

 **hoesucc:** mind changed

 

 **trashbin:** You all won’t have your leader, so you guys could have a new leader if RM does leave

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** so like kill or be killed

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** no

 

 **chimmychimjim:** survival of the fittest, i claim that shit

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** hey hey no im leader now

 

 **kookies:** can I be leader?

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i was born in busan first so no

 

 **noisepollution:** wait what if we all joined into a massive group and call ourselves BT-KON

 

 **mom#2:** why though

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** y not 

 

 **trashbin:** With RM still here or not? 

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** I have no fucking clue anymore

 

 **trashbin: h** ey language there are kids in this chat

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** hey stfu 

 

 **angel:** it’s only been a week and yet chanwoo has been called a kid ten times already 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** thx for keeping score 

 

 **angel:** of course!!! :DD

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i wish i could still be that pure

 

 **mom#2:** donghyuk is the purest child we have in this household

 

 **your prince:** an angel that came from heaven yeah

 

 **chimmychimjim:** ohhh some otp action going on here *wink wonk*

 

 **hoesucc:** i’ve been searching for jimin’s wattpad account for the past five min and found nothing

 

 **yoongay:** he’s not just going to _hand_  his account to you to snoop through

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** jimin send me some of the fics

 

 **chimmychimjim:** hhhhhhhmm what about nah

 

 **kookies:** we got some noodles to bribe you with

 

 **chimmychimjim:** fuck

 

 **soccer mom:** c h i l d

 

 **chimmychimjim:** m  o  m

 

 **let koya sleep:** going out with seokjin in a few minutes just to let you guys know

 

 **yoongay:** no one cares

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** ohhhh ship is sailing already and we didnt even do anything yet lmao

 

 **let koya sleep:** I meant go out to get groceries and snacks, do y’all want anything?

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** to get out of this chaotic group chat that’ll for sure go wrong if things keep up

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** a life

 

 **trashbin:** sleep

 

 **mom#2:** a break from my children

 

 **kookies:** banana milk pls

 

 **hoesucc:** SPRITE PLEASE :DDD

 

 **your prince:** nivea lip balm and some meat so I can cook bulgogi tonight!

 

 **yoongay:** death

 

 **angel:** I’m good, thank you for asking!! :)

 

 **soccer mom:** you ;)))

 

 **noisepollution:** bruce lee and michael jackson back :((

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** out of this fUCkiNG FAmiLy

 

 **chimmychimjim:** my otps to get together, the literal point of this fanfic and group chat

 

 **trashbin:** fanfic???

 

 **chimmychimjim:** nothing 

 

 **let koya sleep:** I only have 69 cents 

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** u KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

 

 **noisepollution:** not enough money for chimken nuggers

 

 **let koya sleep:** we also literally live across the country,,,

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** seokjin can pay for the shipping costs, he’s riiichhhh

 

 **mom#2:** what the fuck you guys YG and BigHit are literally in the same city

 

 **mom#2:** i checked on google maps that we’re more more or less an hour away 

 

 **mom#2:** IF WE TAKE THE METRO

 

 **hoesucc:** wait a minute!!!! That means we could secretly meet up and eat at burger king again!!

 

 **trashbin:** how did we come up with the idea that we’re across the country if we’re literally an hour away (if we’re at our company’s building at the same time)

 

 **soccer mom:** hoseok we are not going to meet up because of the fact that we might be seen

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** last time we met up, our picture was taken and all over twitter

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** s c a n d a l o u s

 

 **kookies:** but the fries ;-;

 

 **hoesucc:** :(((((

 

 **trashbin:** also, with the 14 of us, it would be extra tricky because we’d be noticed and there would be rumours spread around 

 

 **your prince:** so no meeting up

 

 **angel:** no :((

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** fuck that ima get all of us outta here and we ll meet up at mcds 

 

 **mom#2:** chanwoo no

 

 **chanwho didnt say nothing:** chanwoo yes

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** istg chan don’t do that

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** we’re going to mcds if we don’t do our work??

 

 **chimmychimjim:** yes

 

 **soccer mom:** kids pack up we’re going to meet up with ikon and eat mcds

 

 **let koya sleep:** not you too

 

 **yoongay:** it was a terrible idea to make this group chat

 

 **soccer mom:** jk im kidding we got work to do, sorry Tae 

 

 **kookies:** I’ve been summoned?

 

 **angel:** hey guys where’s chanwoo??

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** what??

 

 **your prince:** oh my god he’s not in his room

 

 **hoesucc:**????????

 

 **noisepollution:** hes not responding to the memes i sent him

 

 **trashbin:** OH GOD CHANWOO IS GONE

 

 **mom#2:** FUCK HE LEFT TO ACTUALLY GO TO BIG HIT

 

 **soccer mom:** oh shit we should of stopped talking about meeting up

 

 **chimmychimjim:** omg mom swore

 

 **yoongay:** Not the time, Jimin

 

 **kookies:** what are we going to do??

 

 **let koya sleep:** I think we should wait at BigHit if Chanwoo does actually come here, but otherwise we can’t do much

 

 **trashbin:** okay we gotta track down chanwoo and stop him before he does something irresponsible like the evil maknae he is

 

 **mom#2:** once I stop hyperventilating then yeah

 

 **noisepollution:** HE DIDNT RESPOND TO THE MEMES THAT I SENT HIM

 

 **noisepollution:** its the good ones to and he always responds to them

 

 **kookies:** oh no :000

 

 **your prince:** we’re in trouble oh my god

 

 **angel:** we should split up and half of us come up with an excuse to tell YG, and the other half goes out and finds him

 

 **trashbin:** That’s a good idea Donghyuk!

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** should we do the same to? Half of us go and half of us stays?

 

 **soccer mom:** i dont think we can do that taehyung, we might miss each other

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i think its a good idea to stay, better chance of finding Chanwoo

 

 **let koya sleep:** Yeah

 

 **trashbin:** Okay ikon, who wants to stay and who wants to go???

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** I’ll go

 

 **noisepollution:** I’ll go too, his snapchat will help me find his phone location

 

 **your prince:** I’ll go too, I won’t be able to sleep at night knowing that Chanwoo is out there

 

 **angel:** it’s really late too,,,,,,,,,,, I hope he will be okay and not hurt himself 

 

 **mom#2:** I’ll stay, I doubt that I can go outside without screaming my head looking for Chanwoo

 

 **trashbin:** donghyuk do you wanna stay with Jinhwan and I so we can come up with an excuse?

 

 **angel:** sure!!

 

 **chimmychimjim:** good luck you guys!!! find chanwoo so we can keep this chat alive

 

 **soccer mom:** sorry for all of this!! we didnt expect this to happen at all

 

 **mom#2:** it’s okay, as long as we find Chanwoo and he’s safe

 

 **trashbin:** Get ready?

 

 **your prince:** showtime!!

 

* * *

 

 **yoongay:** Where did Hobi go??

 

 **chimmychimjim:** idk, he suddenly disappeared

 

 **hoesucc:** hi

 

 **yoongay:** Hobi! Where’d you go?

 

 **hoesucc:** sorhdsy

 

 **soccer mom:** what??

 

 **hoesucc:** *soryryyry

 

 **let koya sleep:** Hoseok what’s wrong?

 

 **hoesucc:** *sorry

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** wait why hyung???

 

 **kookies:** why are you apologizing for??

 

 **hoesucc:** its my fault

 

 **hoesucc:** if i didnt mentipn meeting up then none of this wold of happenned 

 

 **hoesucc:** im so sorry

 

 **hoesucc** has left the group chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh
> 
> one comment = one hug for hobi 
> 
> (Please I write and update faster if I get comments)


	3. yoongay: so, like, finding nemo but it’s finding chanwoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chanwoo goes on a walk part two, jungkook does a sneak, and hoseok is doing a very good vanishing act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big oof part deux 
> 
> Names:  
> (iKON)  
> Kim Hanbin: **trashbin**  
>  Kim Jiwon: **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny**  
>  Kim Jinhwan: **mom#2**  
>  Goo Junhoe: **noisepollution**  
>  Kim Donghyuk: **angel**  
>  Song Yunhyeong: **your prince**  
>  Jung Chanwoo: **chanwho didnt say nothing**
> 
> (BTS)  
> Kim Namjoon: **let koya sleep**  
>  Kim Seokjin: **soccer mom**  
>  Jung Hoseok: **hoesucc**  
>  Min Yoongi: **yoongay**  
>  Kim Taehyung: **heyheyitstaetae**  
>  Jeon Jungkook: **kookies**  
>  Park Jimin: **chimmychimjim**

**winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** so Yunhyeong, Junhoe and I just got on the metro

 

 **noisepollution:**  chan probably took the 1 right before us, the 9 oclock train

 

 **mom#2:**  good thing YG is focusing on Blackpink’s comeback, or he’d be on our asses

 

 **trashbin:** bold of you to assume that he’s not always on our asses

 

 **chimmychimjim:**  lmaooooo 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:**  but like,,,,,, all yg artists deserve better

 

 **your prince:**  hey we all should go to bighit instead 

 

 **soccer mom:** bad idea i dont recommend that

 

 **let koya sleep:** I mean... it doesn’t work like that

 

 **noisepollution:** it will cause i said so

 

 **angel:** So!!! what should we tell YG? We’re walking down the hallways and his office is on the top floor

 

 **yoongay:** bullshit your way through

 

 **yoongay:** that’s what I do with namjoon and seokjin

 

 **soccer mom:** hey you’re grounded

 

 **trashbin:** if that’s not a mood idk what is

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** you guys we gotta find chanwoo, not bullshit our way through

 

 **mom#2:** actually Yoongi that is a very good idea

 

 **your prince:** wait isn’t that what we always do??

 

 **angel:** Not that I know of...?

 

 **noisepollution:** yes it is, we said fuck it n we’re bad bitches now

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** so we just arrived to our first stop, and I think it’s the way to BigHit

 

 **trashbin:** you think?

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** i think we should play some games while waiting for chanwoo to come

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i suggust uno

 

 **soccer mom:** uno block

 

 **let koya sleep:** He’s only suggesting it because he steals all of the uno reverses beforehand

 

 **chimmychimjim:** hey it’s not stealing, its simply borrowing

 

 **noisepollution:** yeah jinhwan, im not stealing ur fancy pens, im simply just borrowing dem

 

 **mom#2:** junhoe istg give me back my pens

 

 **your prince:** if they go into hyungs ass I will bleach my eyes

 

 **noisepollution:** you dont know that ;)

 

 **trashbin:** you all need jesus 

 

 **kookies:** hello im here

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** thank God my religion has arrived

 

 **yoongay:** what the fuck taehyung

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i think he means ‘let me fuck hoseok’

 

 **noisepollution:** ur probably rite

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** HE’S NOT DENYING IT LMAO

 

 **kookies:** yoongi hyung is blushing uwu

 

 **chimmychimjim:** k but honestly hoseok is the sunshine of the group who wouldnt fuck him

 

 **let koya sleep:** I can hear Yoongi hissing at everyone who passes Hoseok’s room

 

 **soccer mom:** i think i heard him say ‘back off hes mine’

 

 **your prince:** wow that’s gay, even for yoongi 

 

 **mom#2:** bold of you to assume he’s not the gayest out of all of us

 

 **trashbin:** sorry jinnie, I’m the gayest

 

 **kookies:** if we’re having an out gaying contest, sorry but I’m winning

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** babe thats my title

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** I deeply regret not leaving this group chat

 

 **your prince:** Bobby is just trying to avoid the fact that he’s the gayest

 

 **soccer mom:** mirror mirror on the wall whose the gayest of them all

 

 **angel:** Mirror: *points at all of us*

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i love that a while ago donghyuk was denying his gayness

 

 **let koya sleep:** It’s Pride Month, no one is straight

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** Oh my GOD I just saw chanwoo just get onto another train that was 50 meters away

 

 **mom#2:** that little fuck when he gets back here he’ll be sleeping on the soy sauce stained tatami mat that we stole from japan two years ago

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** omg my idols

 

 **soccer mom:** HEY EXCUSE ME MY SON

 

 **trashbin:** okay so we’re outside YG’s office but he’s not here

 

 **angel:** Maybe he went home?

 

 **noisepollution:** great, he can go home but we cant? bull fucking shit

 

 **kookies:** ;-;

 

 **chimmychimjim:** oh there goes all of my uwus 

 

 **mom#2:** oh god YG is with Blackpink right now, he’d be in the other studio

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** wait how many studios do we even have?

 

 **trashbin:** which studio?????

 

 **angel:** at least five?

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** i like that fact that you guys dont even know how many studios yg has

 

 **your prince:** idk it wasn’t important enough

 

 **yoongay:** we only have three, one for solo artists, one for us and one for TXT

 

 **trashbin:** awww TXT’s debut was adorable

 

 **chimmychimjim:** i think its safe to say that yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun and kai are all of our biases

 

 **kookies:** agreed

 

 **mom#2:** CHANWOO JUST FUCKING POSTED A SELCA

 

 **let koya sleep:** what???

 

 **mom#2:** HES AT THAT KBBQ PLACE WHERE YUNHYEONG WAS BEING SCOLDED AT FOR BEING A BETTER COOK

 

 **mom#2:** HE EVEN CAPTIONED ‘on my way to my idols’ WITH HASTAGS #lit #onanadventure #ygdoesntknowimonalongwalk #chanwoodidntsaynothing

 

 **trashbin:** that little shit whom we love

 

 **your prince:** we’re so fucked

 

 **noisepollution:** he doesnt reply to my memes but he posts a selca??? bitch??

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** he left us on read too for the YG monitored group chat

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** ouch rippp

 

 **angel:** any ideas of what we should say to YG?? ;-;

 

 **your prince:** *probably chanwoo when YG finally steps down* : goodbye u little shit

 

 **chimmychimjim:** idek yg but why is that accurate

 

 **trashbin:** I doubt he’d step down unless something bad happens to him or to the groups

 

 **soccer mom:** i guess its time to sabotage blackpink

 

 **let koya sleep:** absolutely not

 

 **soccer mom:** hEy StoB iT

 

 **kookies:** wouldnt ygs brother just take over then??????

 

 **noisepollution:** ye

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** guess that means yall stuck in the dungeon ://

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** bold of you to assume we’re not already stuck in yg’s dungeon

 

 **chimmychimjim:** freedom? never heard of her

 

 **your prince:** *plays our song Freedom because irony*

 

 **let koya sleep:** it’s truely unfair that yg treats all of his groups poorly. I’m at least glad that we’re not contracted under him

 

 **let koya sleep:** also, anyone wants to play scrabble with Jin and I while we wait for Chanwoo?

 

 **kookies:** shut up dad no one cares

 

 **let koya sleep:** wow rude

 

 **soccer mom:** hey u devil child apologize this instant

 

 **kookies:** sorry mom

 

 **soccer mom:** you better be 

 

 **mom#2:** awwww fuck YG isnt in blackpinks studio either

 

 **trashbin:** you all know what that means

 

 **yoongay:** finally we get to die now

 

 **chimmychimjim:** no

 

 **yoongay:** im going to commit not alive

 

 **your prince:** what the fuck

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** did chanwoo just post another selca

 

 **noisepollution:** holy fuck he did

 

 **angel:** he said ‘BigHit here I come!!’ And the hashtags #illbethefirstevermaknaetouniteikonandbts #ihavethepowertoo #thankgodforygsblackcreditcard #noregrets

 

 **mom#2:** i regret raising him

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** lmao imagine if jungkook just waltzes outta here to go to yg 

 

 **soccer mom:** DOn’T ENCouRAge HIm 

 

 **kookies:** >;3c

 

 **let koya sleep:** the fact that he’s very capable of doing so is terrifying

 

 **trashbin:** we found yg and now we’re trying to delay him until junhoe, yunhyeong and bobby find chanwoo

 

 **mom#2:** for the record its not going well

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** where did you find him anyways???

 

 **angel:** here and there, around and about :P

 

 **your prince:** this whole group chat is just lazy script writing that the author doesn’t even want to bother explaining what is even going on

 

 **yoongay:** fourth wall break much

 

 **chimmychimjim:** also yoongs how is hoseok doing?? he left the chat and didnt reply to my heart memes :((((

 

 **noisepollution:** wait wtf happened??!!

 

 **yoongay:** he shut himself in his room and he hasn’t let me in yet

 

 **yoongay:** its been over 30 minutes

 

 **yoongay:** he would be out by now

 

 **angel:** he probably needs some time to think it out, being responsible for someone’s disappearance, even temporary, can be stressful

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** how do you know though??

 

 **angel:** Yunhyeonnie once disappeared for a few hours without telling us, and I was the last person he spoke to. I mentioned something about wanting to run away from our stressful problems and he just *poofed*

 

 **your prince:** hey i did come back ok!!!

 

 **angel:** but it still was really scary! I was worried sick for you!!!

 

 **your prince:** it was three years ago!!

 

 **angel:** :III

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** holy shit you guys donghyuk did a :I

 

 **trashbin:** this isn’t a kdrama, its a q u e drama

 

 **let koya sleep:** that youtube comment was the only good thing that happened in the video

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** okay but that is actually really soft, no wonder why everyone ships y’all

 

 **chimmychimjim:** yundong is the purest ship change my mind

 

 **noisepollution:**  i think we all agree tbh

 

 **soccer mom:** jesus christ where is jungkook???

 

 **yoongay:**  fuck not again

 

 **let koya sleep:** he’s not in his room, not in anyone’s room right now

 

 **your prince:** sneak 100

 

 **chimmychimjim:** and all of us besides yoongs were chilling in the front too, how did he past us??

 

 **noisepollution:** sneak 1000

 

 **trashbin:** our members are missing, part two

 

 **yoongay:** this whole situation is a mess

 

 **yoongay:** wait, so it’s like, finding nemo but finding chanwoo

 

 **mom#2:** \+ finding jungkook 

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** anyways i now know what it feels like to be guilty of someone disappearance 

 

 **soccer mom:** ohh baby its okay we’ll find kookie 

 

 **yoongay:** FUCK

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** WHAT NOW

 

 **yoongay:** I HEARD A LOUD ASS THUD FROM HOSEOK’S ROOM AND SO I BURST OPEN AND FOUND THAT HE’S NOT IN HIS ROOM

 

 **yoongay:** THE WINDOW IS OPEN AND THERES A BEDSHEET TIED TO HIS BED

 

 **your prince:** our members are missing, part three

 

 **angel:** author-san is just yeeting out all of these oofs for plot twists 

 

 **mom#2:** istg this whole chapter is just getting worse and worse, 3 outta 14 of us are literally MISSING

 

 **soccer mom:** AIGHT SQUAD

 

 **soccer mom:** WE’RE GOING TO SPLIT UP INTO 3 TEAMS

 

 **soccer mom:** TWO OF US FIND JUNGKOOK, TWO OF US FIND HOSEOK AND ONE STAYS FOR CHANWOO

 

 **soccer mom:** sorry my love, namjoonie, but you gotta stay behind for chanwoo

 

 **let koya sleep:** thanks

 

 **your prince:** lmao ‘namjoonie’ 

 

 **noisepollution:** i felt that

 

 **chimmychimjim:** tae tae and I will find jungkook!! our telepathic maknae powers will find him

 

 **heyheyitstaetae:** idk what this weirdo just said but yeah

 

 **your prince:** lmao mood

 

 **soccer mom:** k so that means yoongi and i will find hoseok

 

 **yoongay:** wait 

 

 **yoongay:** I want to find him by myself

 

 **mom#2:** are you sure that’s a good idea tho?

 

 **yoongay:** i was literally in front of his fucking bedroom door, i should be responsible for finding him

 

 **trashbin:** okay but that doesn’t mean that you /are/ responsible for someone else, Yoongi. Hoseok is his own person and he can think for himself. He may be in a bad place at the moment but yes, you should go find him, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go alone

 

 **winnie the pooh is actually a bunny:** ^^ I agree, and im sure he’ll come around again. Let him think things out 

 

 **yoongay:** he might not even be thinking straight

 

 **yoongay:** he could fucking die out there and we wouldn’t know

 

 **yoongay:** without hoseok what is even the fucking point of being here

 

 **soccer mom:** Yoongi, thats enough

 

 **soccer mom:** think this shit out; he won get hurt and he is a fully capable adult

 

 **let koya sleep:** we understand that you care for him and whatnot, but think rationally

 

 **chimmychimjim:** we all care about hoseok, ur not the only one ok?!!

 

 **noisepollution:** its totally normal to feel afraid for someone yoongs 

 

 **angel:** it’s also good that you care so much for him

 

 **your prince:** things will be okay, no one will get hurt. this is a fanfic, no one ain’t getting hurt

 

 **let koya sleep:** I think jin and I should go find Hoseok instead, Yoongi you should clear your mind first

 

 **yoongay:** fine

 

 **trashbin:** thank gosh, I don’t think you all should lose another member, especially with jungkook out there

 

 **yoongay:** I’ll find Hoseok by myself 

 

 **soccer mom:** HHNOOO??!!

 

 **mom#2:** WAIT DON’T DO THAT WTF

 

 **yoongay:** I appreciate all of those words, but I’m not going to listen to any of them right now

 

 **yoongay:** Hobi is out there, and I’m not going to sit idly and possibly come to the conclusion that my other half might never come back

 

 **yoongay** has left the group chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that things will get better next chapter ;-;
> 
> in the meantime check out my other (more serious) fic It Has To Be You (iKON) or Interstellar: You’re In My Orbit (BTS) while you wait for me to update the next chapter! 
> 
> (PS: I might not be able to post/update any of my fics for a while cause of a lame reason [you can find it on my other fic for ikon] so don’t be alarmed that I stopped posting all of a sudden!)
> 
> Thanks for reading and pls leave comments!! ><

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments!! Please leave a comment on your thoughts, I want to hear from you! 
> 
> Make sure to check out my iKON fic It Has To Be You if you want some gay love squares lol 
> 
> See ya in the comments! <3


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